As the time gets increasingly shorter until our wedding and my to-do list seems to be growing exponentially, I can’t help but have those moments where I wonder if it’s all worth it. I am still absolute in my decision to marry Jacob. Our relationship is better than ever and I am confident that being married will only strengthen our partnership. The importance of the actual wedding day, however, I have my doubts. Don’t get me wrong, I am so excited to have a big party/reunion with our loved ones that we don’t get to see very often. But honestly, we could do this for (close to) free at a park. With the money that we are putting towards the wedding we could buy a much needed computer, new couch, AND take an extended honeymoon trip [or heaven forbid, save it-which my generation seems unable to wrap their heads around-but that’s another post]. All of this wedding ‘stuff’ we’re accumulating and the gobs of money spent on ‘services’ for just a few hours is overwhelming. At the same time, I love to plan and decorate and design—see my last post. But planning an event that will cost you and your families thousands of dollars seems, at times, frivolous. I love planning parties, but when it’s my own it feels selfish. I’m torn between hating the materialism of it all and loving the creative design side, and this dichotomy is a constant struggle.
Having said that, let’s talk about what I had originally intended this post to be about: wedding blogs. I’ve always been an avid reader, and boy do I love to waste precious hours on the ol’ internet. Thus, my obsession with wedding blogs was natural. Soon after we got engaged I filled my Google Reader to the brim with these blogs. In the beginning, I was naïve. I didn’t know what WIC meant and wasn’t able to distinguish between the real, imperfect weddings and the fairytale photoshoots that are passed off as real. Talk about intimidating. I found myself bombarded with checklists and color schemes and details I had never even heard of, let alone considered. I fell into the trap of the wedding world. I have since resurfaced and realized that 90% of it is really just veiled advertising. I haven’t bought a wedding magazine since last spring and I removed every blog from my reader that wasn’t written by an actual person. Every time I start to hyperventilate I read these posts and I can breathe a little easier.
So where do I fit in? Somewhere between The Knot and Offbeat Bride I guess. I’m a little too in love with mason jars and photo booths to truly be considered an ‘indie’ bride but too weirded out by garter tosses and monogrammed napkins to be considered a ‘traditional’ one. I’m trying to make every decision based on what I want. I don’t care if it’s popular in the BIC (Blogging Industrial Complex), if I like it, I’ll do it. But NOT because I feel I have to include this particular detail or my wedding won’t be pretty or meaningful enough.
I’ll jump off my soapbox now-at least long enough to post pictures from New Year’s Eve ;)